What if…

I was enjoying a great worship time on Sunday. Our Sunday school class has begun studying Crazy Love by Francis Chan and we talked about the first chapter. MM and I have already read this book, but it’s the kind of book that I need to read about once a year. That and Radical. But that’s only because I need a constant reminder in order to not fall back into complacency in my faith. But I digress…

So here I am enjoying this great worship. The music is good, the lyrics are meaningful, I’m surrounded by my children and I just feel, “Wow! Lord you have blessed me so well! Here I am surrounded by the people I love more than anything else in this world, blessings straight from You. I just love You and praise You and worship You.”

And then I heard something I didn’t expect. In my spirit, I heard the Lord say, “What if.

“What if you weren’t surrounded by your family. What if your family were taken away from you… violently. What if you didn’t have friends and family all around you. What if you weren’t in a comfortable building listening to pleasing music in a safe environment. Would you still love Me and praise Me and worship Me then?”

Truly, I didn’t expect this response. I probably expected something along the lines of “I love you, too, and what you sense is My grace extended to you.” And I know that’s true. But the word I needed to hear that day was “What if.”

And truly, I don’t think I’m there. I think much of my praise and love and worship stems from what I perceive as what the Lord has blessed me with. I still care more about His stuff than His substance. Getting to the place where I can say, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” is not easy.

Believers in other countries, in other areas, in other circumstances, don’t have to take the What If’s for granted. They live the What If. They’ve had family members violently killed. They live in extreme poverty. They aren’t comfortable or safe.

And I don’t long for that. I’m not a masochist.

But what I do long for is a love relationship with my God that makes everything else – everything else – on this earth rubbish. I long to be so in love with Him that though I may lose my family, my friends, my comfort, my life, I will still cling to my Savior and love Him with my whole heart. I long to get to Heaven and run to Him and fall at His feet and cry, “Finally. I’m finally here. I finally see You with my eyes, the One I’ve loved for so long. You are the only One my heart desires. You are the only One worthy.”

What if?


2 thoughts on “What if…

  1. I think you are underestimating yourself, your faith in God and God. I believe in you. I think if bad and horrible things happened to you or your loved ones you would remember that they are only bad in this moment but that God’s love is there and always and eternal. I think you are the kind of woman who would be sad or angry, as we humans can be, while also loving God even more knowing that He is the one who knows all. God is eternal, His love is eternal, these moments on earth try and test us… but because of Him they really are mere moments and everything else is ~ everything… I ramble. You don’t need to experiences grand losses to prove yourself. God puts us on the path our soul or our friend’s, loved one’s, or stranger’s soul needs us to be on. You are strong even if you never are hit by a horrible what if. It is not that God gives us only what we can handle – He gives us what we need. And still I ramble….

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