Our memory verse this past week was 1 Corinthians 13:1 – If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
Okay, here’s the truth-in-love, absolute truth about me, HW: Sometimes I can feel spiritually superior to others. I know how pharisee-like that is, and how prideful and how sinful and how awful and how shameful that is. But it’s true. I have a lot of biblical head-knowledge and a lot of heart-knowledge, too. I feel like God is constantly drawing me closer to Him, through revelations, through trials, through circumstances, through prayer, through failure, through triumph.
I know He’s doing that with all of us, but I also know I’ve had a lot of growth the past 10 years, and especially the past 5 years. And as I watch others, I don’t see any outside growth. I don’t know where they’re growing as I know where I’ve grown. But lest you think I still feel “holier than thou,” you should know that humility and grace and a tender heart are things that the Lord is currently developing in me. And it is a painful development, and one that I don’t necessarily enjoy but that I embrace nonetheless because I know it is bringing me still closer to God’s heart.
So this verse we’re learning really hit home with me, because though in the past I may have felt like Super Spiritual Girl (memorizes whole chapters of Scripture in a single sitting), I have never once felt like Super Loving Girl. And how sad is it to know that what you are doing (Bible reading, prayer, sacrifice, ministry) sounds like a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal to the Lord. And to your family and your friends.
So there you have it: I’m not super spiritual girl after all. And as the Lord works His love through me, I will realize more and more that I never will be. While increasing knowledge might cause me to exalt myself in my own eyes, increasing love never will. In fact, it’s just the opposite. As I love others more and more, I become lower and lower in my own eyes. That is what I’m striving for and what I’m praying the Lord continues to develop in me.