I got frustrated with LW the other day because she was being impatient with her siblings. No… I got frustrated because she was being just. like. me. And I realized that all her shortcomings, and really all the littles’ shortcomings, are just me seen through a microscope. How scary is that?
But I also realized that their childish behavior (which is normal for them because they’re, well, children) is my childish behavior. Only I choose to behave childishly to my husband, to my God, to my friends.
Whiny? Check. Selfish? Check. Easily frustrated? Check. Lazy? Check.
1 Corinthians 13:12 says, “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known..” I feel like the reflection I see in my mirror is my children, and sometimes it’s not a very pretty reflection.
Before motherhood, I didn’t see as clearly all my shortcomings… all my sins. My reflection pleased me back then. But now I’ve learned and I’ve grown and I see the not-so-nice parts of my reflection, and it no longer pleases me. How I wish I could’ve seen myself more fully before I had children because I had so much more time to work on it. But now I see it and now I have 6 reflections to work on.
I think maybe that’s why God blessed me with 5 beautiful Littles. He knew I would need a lot of mirrors reflecting my true self before I would really begin to see it. Thankfully, I don’t really have to fix my reflection myself. In fact, I can’t. It seems the more I work on it, the uglier I get. But when I let Him work on it, in ways that don’t seem like they’d really add beauty (a season of poor health anyone?), my reflection becomes a little lighter, a little prettier. The tools he uses are not the beautician’s tools, but they work better than any blowdryer, any make-up, any botox could ever do.
So I’m thankful that my Littles misbehave and I’m thankful that they’re selfish and whiny and downright miserable sometimes. Because it teaches me a good lesson and lets me get a fresh view at my reflection, wrinkles and all.